Talking to Girls

I read a really interesting article this morning that made me really evaluate how I talk to girls.  This is the link to the article, How to Talk to Little Girls.
I have a friend who has ten year old daughter, and when I recently saw her, what did I compliment her on? Her hair.  She's a brilliant girl who is in the gifted program, loves to read, loves animals, and is very adventurous.  I could have had a really interesting conversation with this little girl, but instead just gave her a compliment on something as passing as nice topknot.  I know how our society pushes little girls to grow up to fast and just be pretty faces, but it took this article to really make me evaluate how I talk to girls.
As a teacher, I see little girls in full faces at make up at fourth and fifth grades, wearing padded bras as soon as they need a bra, being taken on dates in elementary school, worrying about how fatty lunch is, and by sixth and seventh grade making sure the boys do better than them so they can get a boyfriend.  This really makes me sad to see these girls paint on a face and shut the door on their brains and dreams.
The article says we should be asking girls what they are reading, what they want to do when they grow up, current events, and other things that will really get a conversation going.
Every girl likes to be complimented on how she looks and wants to look pretty, but we can't just make it all about pretty.  Let's take Lisa Bloom's challenge and find out something interesting about the girls we run across!

Here are a few questions:
"If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?"  "Why"
"What's your favorite subject in school?"
"If you could learn about anything what would it be?"
"Where all have your shoes taken you this week?"
"What's your favorite thing to eat?"
"How do you feel about....(some current event going on)?

Never Say Never-A Lesson in My Expectations

I learned an important lesson about my daughter, myself, and my expectations towards the end of last school year.  I think about it quite often and wanted to share it.
One day I was having a hard time dealing with my emotions about our daughter having Down syndrome.  I was watching some kids in my classroom do very mediocre work and use very little effort.  I was talking to the para (a person who comes into our classrooms to help students)  in my room about my daughter, Down syndrome, and how frustrated and angry it made me to watch these kids not use their abilities and intelligence the Lord had given them when my daughter would never be able to do some of these things.  The para then said to me, "Never say never; don't limit your child. You don't know what she can do.".  This may not seem so profound; many people say this, but this was different.  This para has a child with a severe disability.  To have this person whose child can't communicate, show love in a "normal" way, and needs constant care tell me that affected me more than I can tell you. As parents, we can be the greatest limitation to our children or the base from which they shoot for the stars.   I think all parents should remember this and expect the most and the best at all times and never limit what our children can accomplish.

Parenting Strategy

My husband is the youngest (by quite a bit) of four children so we've gotten to observe several sets of good parenting strategies.  Recently his oldest sister, who is sixteen years older, was out to visit with her twin seventeen-year-old boys; their family ranches in Missouri.  These are two of the best teenagers you'll ever find.  They know how to hold a conversation with adults, look you in the eye, be respectful, responsible, get along with peers, and work HARD.  You've never seen two boys who know more about engines (they've been taking things apart since they were eighteen months).
Their dad was raised on a dairy and gets up before the sun comes up, and he believes in gettin' up and gettin' to work.  He lets the boys "sleep in" until seven, and then they're up hauling square bales, working cows, plowing fields, and fixing equipment.  They have chores before and after school.  When their dad had to pay a speeding ticket for one of them, the boy worked it off with extra work.  The boys have time for fun, but they have responsibilities that they must take care of first, and there's not so much free time that they're coming up with trouble.  When asked what their father's parenting strategy is, the unanimous answer is "have you ever seen the show Hell's Kitchen?".

Hoodwinked

My daughter LOVES her thumbs....LOVES them.  If she can have one thumb in her mouth, great; if she can have two thumbs in her mouth, even better.  She puts them in while taking a bath (very tricky to get the soap off before she sticks them in), while playing with her toys, and even while taking a bottle (very messy).
My husband is exploiting this thumb adulation.  He has promised her two extra thumbs....in exchange for no poopy diapers.  The worst part is she believes him despite my valiant attempts to make her see that her father has hoodwinked her.  He has avoided changing a poopy diaper for months.  I realize he only changes one diaper a day, but you'd think sooner or later he'd get a messy one.  Statistics say that he should have to take one for the team once in a while, but no.  I change them, the babysitters change them, the grandmas change them, but not Daddy.
Since he heads out for the field each day, he gets up and spends time with her each morning and changes the first diaper of the day.  It's never anything but wet except for the day I decided to let him sleep in.  On that particular morning, she had the stinkiest poo ever filling her diaper, running up her back, through the sleeper onto the blanket. WHY??????  That is the only morning it's been that way before or since.  Just see if he ever gets to sleep in again!