Beautiful Baby Girl

 This post is to introduce our daughter.  It is an emotional post for me, but after reading some new research on new testing for down syndrome, I want to share our story through my eyes.
On December 14th, our little miracle arrived into our world bringing with her the unexpected diagnosis of down syndrome.  Like most first time mommies, I spent my nine months of pregnancy reading EVERYTHING I could on babies, baby care, baby dangers....you get the point.  I decorated the nursery picturing my little girl flouncy through the room running from one adventure to the next; I spent hours at night rocking in glider in her room when I couldn't sleep due to her karate punches, dreaming of our life with her in it.
My pregnancy was relatively uncomplicated except by the normal pregnancy problems.  I did have scare at the 20 week sonogram where they thought they found lesions on her brain, but after going to a high risk pregnancy center in Denver twice to have ultrasounds with their super high-tech and up-to-date equipment, we were assured they were just a normal occurrance.  In fact, by the second time we went, the spots were gone, but due to that scare, our young ages, and the fact that we'd had two sets of friends with false positives on the protein test, we refused the protein test.
On December 14th, I went to school, but decided after several hard contractions that it was best to leave (didn't want to educate fifth graders in the birthing process).  My husband and I arrived at the hospital at 5:00; they broke my water shortly after, and by ten o'clock Gracelyn was here.  When they handed her to me, I thought what a beautiful baby.  I noticed her small features and later it made sense, but despite all the sonograms, I would have been less shocked if they had told me she was a boy instead of the doctor looking at my husband and I telling us he believed she had down syndrome, but that a chromosome test was needed to confirm.
I was devastated.  You never picture anything, but a perfect child in those dreams during pregnancy.  That's always somebody else's child.  I pictured every child I've ever taught or known who'd had down syndrome.  I was drowning in fears.
The experience of giving birth is supposed to be one of the happiest times of your life.  It wasn't for us, and that is my biggest regret.  I wish we'd known ahead of time so we'd have had time to adjust and been able to celebrate and rejoice at her birth and homecoming.
Our families, our church family, and friends have been amazing.  The support and love shown to us during this time has been tremendous.  For me, knowing that God has trusted us with this gift and knows we can make it through the trials, makes all the difference.  I know it is not random that she is ours.  We have all the love in our hearts, a ranch for her to help on on, a garden to grow, cows, pigs, and chickens to take care of, and an amazing set of families to help raise her.
I've since realized that every parent has a special child.  I think back to all the kids in my classroom, and almost all of them are facing something they must overcome whether it's a physical or learning disability, choices their parents make, bullying, language barrier, or any variety of things big or small.  She is her own person, and we will celebrate each milestone, victory, breakthrough, and discovery at her pace.  I love my daughter so much I sometimes think my heart will burst.  I still have huge fears for the future and cry a lot (my husband will tell you I'm a great crier....over everything) and probably have years of crying and worrying ahead of me, but this is the here and now.... and right now I have a baby who loves me, needs me, and has her whole life ahead of her.  I plan to do my best to raise a well-rounded, happy, helpful, God-loving little girl.  Our ranch will offer her experiences and opportunities to do see, do, and learn amazing things.  My grandma gave a verse before she was born, and little did she know how much I would think back to it. Jeremiah 1:5: "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart."
I plan to write occasionally about the our experiences with raising a child with down syndrome so keep following along.